A Girl and her Tsundere
by asb227
Summary: Nico hated the question, "Are you okay?"


There's a saying that the best idols have many layers. Nico likes to believe this is true. Because she herself has numerous layers, and obviously, she's the best idol ever, right?

Nico's first layer was the persona of "Nico-Nico-Nii!", a sweet, cute and bumbling idol who was the face she put on during idol performances. But her idol group knew her better, seeing her as the grumpy club president of the Idol Research Club, who was the butt of many of the jokes made by µ's. A little further in, and one could see that deep within herself, Nico had a burning passion for being an idol. It had been her dream ever since she was a little girl, after all. Look closer, and you see the want to help others that Nico carried in herself, a layer that was very rarely brought out into the world. But at her core, deep within her being, one would find what really filled Nico's soul and existence.

Emptiness. The inability to truly be happy at anything. Sure, she loved being an idol, but even something she considered her passion couldn't pierce through the dark skies of Nico's depression.

Of course, Nico wasn't always like this. When her Papa was alive, always lifting her on his shoulders so she could be closer to the stars that lit up the nights sky, and singing "Nico-Nico-Nii!", Nico had experienced the greatest joy she could've possibly found in the world. But it seemed that fate had a different plan for Nico and her joy. Once her father passed away, Nico had been robbed of her happiness. She didn't have the energy left in her body to be happy after that. She didn't even have the energy in her body to be angry anymore. But she had enough to be sad. Sadness might have been the only thing she had left. And so Nico carried on with her life, always donning on her mask of smiles and cuteness, determined to never let anybody know what she was like on the inside.

Until she met Maki. Once she saw that beautiful crimson hair, those piercing and deep violet eyes, that talent with music, all wrapped up in one rich and perfect package, Nico knew something was going to change in her life. At first, Nico resented Maki. Why wouldn't she? The girl was everything Nico wasn't. Gorgeous. Talented. Intelligent. But there was something Nico noticed was missing from Maki's perfection. If anybody would notice, it would be Nico. After all, she was missing the same thing.

Maki was missing happiness. Nico could tell. The way Maki isolated herself during breaks, the way Maki never smiled at anything, the way she seemed to be completely uninterested in everything. But again, there was something to be envious of Maki for. Whereas Nico had to deal with such feelings with no help, Maki had a getaway from her lack of happiness. Whenever Maki touched those ivory keys on her grand piano, she seemed to be filled with the very thing she couldn't get from the outer world. And Nico almost hated her for it. Why couldn't Nico have something similar? Why couldn't Nico have a way to escape her depression and everyday life?

And so Nico decided to try her best to follow Maki's example. She threw herself into idol practices. Whenever Eri or Umi called for a break, Nico would go off and keep practicing on her own. But it didn't work at all. After a few days of this, Nico couldn't find the energy in herself to keep this routine going. So Nico tried another approach to solving her depression.

* * *

><p>"Nani? You want me to what?"<p>

"Teach me to play the piano!"

Maki sighed, turning away from her senior and twirling her hair absentmindedly. "Why should I?"

"Because... because..." Nico blanked. She didn't really expect to get to this point. She was sort of expecting a flat out "No." "Uh... Nico-Nico will be grateful to you forever and ever?" Nico said tentatively.

Maki looked unimpressed.

"A-ah!" Nico tried a different approach. "Because poor Nico is lonely and needs a friend?" That wasn't a lie. Nico really was lonely. There were only so many times you could talk to your Mama and younger siblings after all.

Maki rolled her eyes. "Fine."

* * *

><p>And so began Nico's piano lessons. At first, Nico was terrible at it. Her fingers didn't seem to be able to move with the same grace as Maki's, and she couldn't remember the notes for each song at all. Maki was a surprisingly patient teacher, always correcting Nico when she got something wrong and never failing to miss a lesson (Nico suspected she did this because she was just as lonely as Nico).<p>

Over time, Nico got somewhat better, finally being able to play some of the easier songs. However, she still wasn't coordinated enough to have Maki call her "good". Still, in the time it took for Nico to get anywhere on the piano, the two girls had grown much closer. Nico's naturally teasing personality had been able to bring Maki out of her shell. Not to mention, the two girls found solace in understanding each other better than anyone else could. They shared the same experience of loneliness and unhappiness, and somewhere along the way, the two had gotten close enough that Maki began actually responding to Nico's texts.

It got to the point where they spent just as much time talking to each other online as they did in person, which was quite alot. And slowly, day by day, Nico could feel her loneliness and depression begin to fade. Her smiles and laughs began to feel more genuine by the day, and it was all because of Maki. With someone she could finally call a best friend by her side, Nico felt like she could actually reach her dream of being an idol.

For once in her life, Nico was actually _content_. She was happy, and she felt like nothing could ever bring her back down.

* * *

><p>"Ne, Nico-chan..."<p>

Nico paused, her chopsticks halfway to her mouth. "What is it, Maki-chan?"

"Do you... have anyone you like?" Maki blushed, turning her head away from her senior to hide it.

Nico blinked. Romance had never really been a big part of her life, seeing as she figured one needed to be happy to experience love. Though now that she thought about it... she was happy now, wasn't she?

"Hm... not really. Nico-nii's eyes haven't really found someone worthy of her heart yet, after all!" Maki, now used to this, simply kept looking out the window of the restaurant they were in. "What about you, Maki-chan? Who gets the heart of the beautiful Maki?"

Maki was so distracted she didn't even blush or respond to Nico's teasing. "Well... I've been thinking..." Now Nico was interested. Maki couldn't possibly have someone on her mind, could she? The girl was just as cold to everybody as she'd always been.

"Oh? Is there someone actually worthy of dearest Maki-chan?"

"Sh-shut up!" Well at least now Maki had snapped out of her musings. "I was just thinking... Rin-chan is kinda cute..."

Nico was surprised. Rin? She was cute, Nico supposed, but she didn't seem at all like Maki's type. "Rin-chan, eh? You should tell her!"

Maki began waving her arms in front of her face frantically, blushing all the while. "N-no! I could never do that!"

And so Nico went on teasing her and Maki went on furiously blushing.

* * *

><p>After some time, Nico began to take an interest in Hanayo. Heaven knew the brunette was adorable. Not to mention that Nico and her kouhai had bonded very easily over their combined love of idols. And Maki still kept on with Rin, to the point where all she would talk about with Nico was how attractive Rin's athleticism was, or how sweet the cat girl was to Maki.<p>

But Nico began to feel something change in the way she thought of the pianist. She couldn't pinpoint the exact time or place it happened, but Nico knew somewhere in her heart that she loved Maki. Which was unfortunate, considering Maki had finally admitted to herself that her crush on Rin was no longer just a crush, and was a full-on romantic love. And Maki thought Nico still liked Hanayo.

Nico, however, knew that this was different from what she had felt for Hanayo. Nico would do anything for Maki's happiness. This was a love that filled Nico's previously empty soul. She didn't even really care that Maki had feeling for Rin. All she cared about was that Maki was happy. And that the pianist would never, ever, leave her alone in the world once more.

And as with all sort of love, it came to the point where Nico could no longer keep the truth a secret.

"I'm in love with you."

There. She said it. It was out of her system. Nico could actually feel the weight lifting off her shoulders.

Maki simply raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding."

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Maki brushed past the raven haired senior on her way to the door that would lead her off the rooftop. "No. You're kidding."

* * *

><p>Nico was willing to give Maki a couple days to cool off. This was, after all, something that would turn the crimson haired girl's world around.<p>

Nico was not, however, willing to give Maki a full month to cool off. She figured now was as good as ever to try and talk to the girl she loved so dearly.

"Hey, Maki-chan!"

Maki simply looked at Nico, blinked, and waved, before continuing on walking with Rin and Hanayo.

Nico lowered her hand from where she had waved at Maki, frowning.

"Maybe she needs more time?" Nozomi had been filled in on the situation about a week after it had occurred. Nico couldn't go on without somebody to talk to, after all. Especially not since she had gotten so used to it because of Maki.

"A month isn't enough?" Nico raised her eyebrow, thoroughly annoyed at Maki's behavior.

Nozomi sighed. She didn't particularly like seeing Nico unhappy. Nozomi had enjoyed seeing the look of genuine joy on Nico's face when she was with Maki. "Nicocchi..."

"I know. You told me already." Nico sighed, not believing she had been so stupid. "I lied to her about Hanayo and now she's really pissed."

"I suppose I can't blame her though."

* * *

><p>Months passed, but Maki still didn't talk to Nico. And the joy Nico had found from Maki was slowly deteriorating, slipping away little by little. Nozomi was beginning to get concerned. Nico would sleep in classes, despite the fact that she had gotten a full ten hours rest the night before. She also lost all her appetite, and Nico just couldn't find the energy to really go to µ's practices. Idols and their lives, which had previously captured her attention, even before she had met Maki, stopped being interesting to her at all. There were no more "Nico-Nico-Nii!"s, and Nico didn't even bother putting on her mask anymore. Everyone could see that her mental health was most definitely not in good shape.<p>

Nico now went home straight after classes, not bothering to pay attention whenever Honoka or Eri would try and call her over for practice. When she got home, she would just go straight to her room and lay down in the dark, closing all the doors and window blinds.

'_How could it have gone bad so fast?_' Nico pondered. '_I know it was too much to expect things to stay the same, but..._'

'_I trusted her to stay with me._'

Maki had been Nico's first best friend. The first person who wasn't in her family that she had ever loved. Nico had loved Maki first as a friend, then in a romantic sense.

The pain was only amplified by the fact that Nico could not find it in herself to blame Maki. If someone had lied to her, pretending to like their best friend, before telling her that they loved her, she would've reacted pretty much the same.

Still, this was a pain that Nico was familiar with. Only it was different in a way. Now that Nico had had another taste of happiness, the first taste in years, she could feel what she was missing more sharply than she could feel it before. It was an ever-present hopelessness.

* * *

><p>Nico now hated the question, "Are you okay?"<p>

Everybody had been asking it recently, and she realized there was no way to respond to it. You couldn't say "Yes.", without sounding like an attention seeker, and you couldn't say "No.", without people not believing you (Plus, it was a lie anyway).

* * *

><p>The depression began getting worse once Nico noticed that Maki had gotten much closer to Rin and Hanayo. It was almost as if Maki had replaced Nico. Where Nico was damaged, broken beyond compare, Maki looked like she was perfectly fine. If anything, Maki looked happier than when they had been friends. The smiles appeared more often on her face, and Nico couldn't not see the look in her eyes whenever Rin would interact with her.<p>

Nico's thoughts got darker on that realization. '_If Maki-chan can replace me so easily...'_

_'What's to stop everyone else in the world from doing the same thing?'_

Nico lost all sense of self-worth on that question. She no longer bothered to try and keep her relationship with any of the other girls, instead just ignoring them when they talked to her. It didn't seem like anything could get worse.

Until it did.

* * *

><p>Nico saw their hands intertwined. She saw the look they gave each other. There was no denying it. Maki had found her happiness with Rin.<p>

She had no need for the poor, depressed, _utterly worthless _senior anymore.

Nico just ran out of the campus when that thought ran through her head. Right in the middle of lunch break, Nico just left.

She found herself on the edge of one of the bridges in town. In that second, Nico had wanted nothing more but the jump and just _end this damn pain_.

But she didn't.

She got back onto the safe side of the railing.

She would find her mask, somewhere in her soul. And she would go through her life, pretending she wasn't just an empty shell, broken to pieces by the red haired beauty with the most talented piano playing that could ever be found.

* * *

><p>It was the day of Maki, Rin and Hanayo's graduation.<p>

Nico walked into Otonokizaka's auditorium with a bouquet in her arms. Maki had ended up forgiving the senior, willing to talk to her in person, laughing and joking. But she had never responded to Nico's texts again.

When Nico saw Maki kiss Rin on the cheek after their graduation, her mask almost crumbled. _Almost_. But she held on, and the smile reformed itself easily. It was used to this, after all.

And when the three noticed Nico standing nearby, they were shocked, but grinned and invited her into a picture with them.

The picture that was taken made Nico completely and utterly proud of herself.

Her mask looked absolutely perfect in that picture.

* * *

><p><strong>THIS. IS. SO. BAD. I really wanna go back and rewrite this, but I won't because I'm in a rush to get this out. Anyway, this was (sort of) based on a personal experience (surprise!)(not really).<strong>


End file.
